Did you ever have a best friend that your parent’s didn’t like?

In our schooldays many of us had a friend or even a small group of pals we hung about with.The more time we spent with them, the more we became like them. And more often than not, that got us into trouble.

Our parent’s would soon ban us from seeing them as they were a ‘bad influence’.

The effect of being around them all the time meant we acted less out of our character and more out of theirs. Perhaps because they were cooler, or usually more popular, but definitely because they were confident backed it up with big talk.

We fell under their spell. The spell of influence.

And influence will always be a powerful force in our lives. And in our minds!

The voices of authority.

The first influence we ever have on our minds are our parents.

They looked after us most of the time to begin with so their views, advice, do’s and don’t’s, standards and values, ethics, beliefs, guidelines, and opinions were the first to be imprinted on us. Imprinted in our minds and our conscience.

Soon after along comes the next voices of authority.

These people add to the rules of the game in life. They will be our teachers and those in similar positions of power who spend the next greater proportion of time with us to influence who we are. With them extra behaviours and rights and wrongs in relation to others and the world will be applied to our mental banks.

Finally, as we move into teenager time comes the final line which will be coaches or leaders of the activities we participate in most from tutors after school or sports coaches. They bring the final layer inputting elements of discipline, effort, dedication, teamwork and the like.

By the time we become adults we are effectively fully influenced by others and the world we have picked up a little ourselves.

No wonder as we hit our mid-teen phase we rebel and seek people who are almost anti the influences we have been given. They represent freedom, being yourself, and breaking free of being told rather than asking yourself what matters.

But, influence has evolved in the 21st Century.

The new influence breed.

The word influencer is on everyone’s lips now.

That’s perhaps because everyone believes themselves to be this and is online saying so. There is actually some psychology to back this up.

If you wish to read and understand more Robert Caldini has written an excellent multi million selling book on how it all works called, ‘Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion’.

As we spend more time in the orbit of peer type people, we begin to elevate the accuracy of what they say or do. In this modern world the time we spend ‘with’ someone who we look up to or admire is from watching social media. As we can commit ourselves to listening/watching many times a day, we can be in their company again and again.

Do that on repeat and soon these people get into our psyche. We begin to filter in subtle elements that tell us they are believable. Their number of followers and likes, the amount of video views etc. Add to that their announcements of how much they are earning or how their lifestyle is increasingly upgrading. We soak it all up.

These factors automatically add weight to what they present and prove to us they should be listened to. They are the truth and their influence has well and truly grabbed us.

With the advent of the internet this has given the dark side of humanity a voice.

A voice of anger, war, accusation, fundamentalism, and crime hooks plenty in through the process above. The tentacles of influence can reach far and wide and trap many in.

Now we don’t have to go anywhere to hang out with the bad influences our parents warned us of.

Who is influencing you?

Influencers (anyone anywhere not just social media) get in our heads.

That’s what they are good at. They make us believe.

From drug dealers to our old school mates going to beers every Saturday night. Their skill at persuasion means it’s difficult to say no. Watch them enough and you will be convinced you need to act and believe like them. And soon you want to be like them too.

That’s how influence has always played out.

Someone talks proudly and strongly enough and we see them as someone we aspire to become. Even marketers use this cleverly. They create characters in adverts that we imagine we could be. While we’re doing that we open our wallets to buy the product they were promoting because if they have it, we should too.

Influence goes further in this internet age. We can be persuaded to support a dubious cause, change our ethics, donate to any type of charity, and even send all our savings to a lover abroad who will pay us back soon.

From your bestie mate Barry at high school to joining the Flat Earth Society, influence lasts a lifetime.

And so you need to ask yourself what or whose influence you are under. Or have always been under?

That influence is running your show and perhaps ruining your life (tried the new Mango Vape the celebs use yet??).

Influence is everywhere, you need to work out what influence is IN you!

Photo attributes – free to use under Pixabay Content License by geralt and aescdtle_art and TyliJura.