Do you hate your job?
Is that the phrase you tell your friends and is the one in your head?
Well, if it is, it’s not true.
The big word that fills your mind and feelings is hate. You have told yourself that you can no longer put up with the manager’s poor leadership or your colleagues lack of standards or perhaps it’s the public and their incessant complaining and lack of patience or the unsociable hours are getting to you.
All of these seem valid at making the role far from enjoyable, but you DON’T hate your job.
Why? Your mindset is focused on the elements in your life that aren’t good or missing and it keeps nagging away at you about these because it’s become set at finding fault in things. As work is the prime time consumer and energy taker in your life, it gets thrown the lions share of dissatisfaction from your mind. It’s also pretty much a daily occurrence in your world so that doubles the blame attached to it for ruining everything or holding you back.
Those negative beliefs grow and magnify and where once Jane’s usual lateness on a Monday morning as traffic is often worse her side of town, has now become a fully blown anger in your mind about her and how typical it is with others in this job. It’s been blown waaaaay out of proportion. Annoyance evolves over time into plain hate.
Where does this come from then? FROM YOU!
The Missing Potential.
Underneath it all you are working in a role far beneath your true ability not to mention your actual worth. But you can’t see it or most likely, can’t accept this as true. You have devalued yourself and taken a job that doesn’t represent half the talent and skills that you possess. Your own lack of self belief has directed you to lower the level you could and should operate at in your career plus the lesser salary and conditions that comes with it.
Hence you are not hating the job but simply picking at everything because it’s not where you want to be…..because you are not being WHO you want to be. But it’s your beliefs that are preventing you from living up to your own potential not the computer’s being slow again or the coffee machine taking too long to warm up in the morning. They are the scapegoats for your self sabotage.
You don’t hate your job. You dislike where you are probably in work, perhaps in life status, and maybe even in relationships or family. And you do that because you don’t have sufficient self worth to elevate yourself to a job or scenario that matches your real unique self.
So while you think about what those beliefs are that are keeping you small I’ll also leave you with one big question.
What great thing about yourself do you really ‘hate’ that everyone else can see (and have probably mentioned to you many times)?
Because if there is anything you hate, it’s that you hate you have done nothing about it.
And Mike’s terrible aftershave will never be the reason!
Do you play sports or enjoy a sporting hobby?
You are not alone. Millions upon millions also do. But sport also means competing which involves facing others and the bigger issue of winning and losing. And for many of those millions the possibility of victory or defeat in not won or lost on the field of play, but in the mind.
It is the playing of the mental game that we are all actually participating in.
If you play golf, how is your putting? I ask this because there is a well known affliction on the green whereby good, solid golfers fall apart and lose all confidence to slip the ball into the hole even if it’s only a matter of 6 inches away. It’s called the Yips and even professional players suffer from it. Top 10 golfer and Major winning star Ian Baker-Finch famously quit the game as he couldn’t seem to hit the ball cleanly anymore putting the reason down to one word, ‘Mental’.
He’s not alone. In the 1968 Rugby League Challenge Cup final Wakefield’s Don Fox missed the last kick of the game from right under the posts to hand the cup to Leeds despite just being voted man of the match as the enormity of the kick played on his mind.
It even hits Olympic champions! World class gymnastic legend Simon Biles actually withdrew from some events having developed ‘the twisties’, a mental block gymnasts experience making them lose their sense of space and awareness in the air and causing them to lose control adding an extra twist or two that isn’t required and potentially landing awkwardly or dangerously. Biles cited stress and the pressures focused on her for getting her mind bent out of shape.
Heads you win!
Truth is all of these skilful athletes and players are human like you and me. We don’t just play the mental game in a sporting sense, we play it in the very real living sense. A missed penalty in a football match can lead to losing and letting others down in our heads. Missing an opportunity for promotion due to giving a poor job interview can also destroy our self belief and remain with us for years, Not hitting the bullseye in darts ends up in a loss you should have won and not asking that cute guy or girl out who seemed to have an eye on you becomes saying goodbye to the one you could have married and been happy ever after with. That’s the mental game. It’s in our heads and nowhere else.
You are beaten before you’ve done anything if you play the mental game that way with yourself. You will always miss, lose, blow it, fail, and confidently collapse if you keep believing and expecting to. Whether it’s a five inch putt to beat your best buddy Walt or a 25 yard field goal to snatch the Superbowl in the dying seconds.
It’s never the physical game that we play that tests us, it’s the mental game that’s our true opponent to beat. On the sports field or in the game of life itself.
How do you play the mental game?
Abraham Lincoln famously became President of The United States in 1860.
But less famously behind that success lay nearly thirty years of failure and heartbreak. From being defeated in his nominations to the US Senate and Congress to losing his sweetheart in his mid-twenties when she died, losing his business and having a nervous breakdown, he never stopped aiming for his goal of the Presidency. He had the belief.
The legendary baseball player Babe Ruth was struck out over 1330 times in his career. All time superstar basketballer Michael Jordan estimated he completely missed scoring some 9000 times and lost over 300 games over the years despite winning every accolade on the court.
And Scottish tennis hero Andy Murray was beaten in hundreds of matches and four grand slam finals in a row before becoming the first British male for 77 years to win Wimbledon.
All of these have the same story. They experienced a life changing moment that they always believed in. A major dream, a pinnacle achievement they set their heart on, that seemed further and further away after each painful setback. But they never let that pain consume them. Or disappointment or doubt, themselves killers of hopes and wishes. They instead held the vision and the sheer power of believing that one day would be their day. And it was.
You are right to believe.
Belief is a personal thing. Where one person continues to believe in the outcome they desire despite seemingly negative results, another will fold and quit after one tiny loss. That’s because belief is powerful – just as Henry Ford, whose words have gone down in history, wisely observed, ‘Whether you think you can or think you can’t, you’re right’. Belief decides the road we will take ahead; the low road to struggle or the high road to stellar accomplishment.
This is where we all are each day. Either believing we will win, or never will and that view gives power to our reality. And that’s why in the end winners come out on top and losers never get near because each only ever believed they would.
It’s all a journey in our mind and that’s why I’ll leave the last few words to the pop group Journey and their top hit, ‘Don’t stop Believin’,
‘Don’t stop believin, hold onto to that feeling’.
What journey have you been on? What power have your beliefs achieved?
Have you ever had a prized possession?
A special or sentimental item that means the world to you? One that you cherish or what matters most?
Many of us can put our hands up to this. Some own a teddy bear from their childhood that brings back special memories. Others have a family heirloom that has been handed down through the generations that they would never part with. And quite a few of us have a modern possession we adore such as a classic sports car or autograph from a sporting idol.
What’s yours?
These things often have little financial value or at least not what we might have paid for them. But that isn’t the same within our mind (and our heart that the mind influences). What matters most to us is priceless and the importance we attach to them means they are something money just could not buy.
But you know what? The same applies to our thinking. We get so absorbed in certain thoughts they become an extension of us and so we struggle to let go of them. We carry them in our mindset for years and simply cannot put them down because they relate to a certain time or person or situation that once existed. Like our physical prized possessions they become part of us.
The difference is our mementos we hold dear don’t prevent us purchasing current day items. A cuddly 50 year old bear never prevents you buying new toys for your own children. Dad’s old pipe is kept safe locked away and as you don’t smoke it has no effect on what you spend money on day to day. What matters most related to olden times never gets in the way of what matters most with our needs today.
BUT THOUGHTS DO!
Our old, fixed thinking may be good for our teenage years or when we had a financial challenges a decade ago, but we can’t truly move into tomorrow with a mindset of yesterday. The world has moved on, people have moved on, the circumstances have moved on…..but we’re still holding onto what we used to think. We’ve not moved on mentally and often it results in our life never moving on either.
What matters most now as you approach another new year is that you take a look at your thoughts to check if they maybe some prized mental possessions that aren’t so prized any more. A threadbare toy bunny will last a lifetime in its benefit to you but threadbare thoughts well past their sell by date may not be bringing you any joy for Christmas, New Year, and every other day in the future.
Take a look at them. What thinking should you lock away and never get out again?
It’s time for some new prized mindset beliefs.
Because if your life is to thrive, that’s what matters most.
Do you believe in Santa Claus?
That was the essential question running through the film, ‘The Miracle on 34th Street’.
In the cinematic classic, Kris Kringle works at Cole’s department store as Father Christmas listening to young children’s wishes and dreams for Christmas. Everyone sees him merely as a happy old man playing a role for the season. Kris sees otherwise. He believes (and ultimately knows) that he isn’t some fancily dressed up character used to attract customers to the store to buy their Christmas presents. He is, actually, Santa Claus for real.
After being tricked into an assault he ends up in jail, and loses faith in who he is (see, even magical people have that happen!!). Encouraged by his lawyer to defend himself he goes to court to clear his name and declare that he is, indeed, Santa Claus in the flesh and not some fairy tale told to children.
The case soon looks doomed until the daughter of Cole’s events director hands the judge a Christmas card with a $1 dollar bill inside. On the bill she put a ring around the phrase, ‘In God We Trust’, which is printed on US dollars. In that instant the judge realises that the whole of society is founded upon the faith and trust in a being that can’t be seen but is, nonetheless, entirely believed in as the unseen hand and guide in our lives there for us at each and every turn. If the government and citizens can base their fundamental system on that belief, then Kris Kringle can equally be believed to be Santa Claus.
The film suggests many miracles – that Father Christmas is alive and well. That children and their love can turn us from hard hearted cynical individuals into soft hearted caring people. That when all seems lost, if we keep believing, winning can appear from out of nowhere. And above all else, that those who do believe great and phenomenal things are the ones that end up changing the world and keeping the world in a good place.
Belief is a miracle maker. Miracles have to be believed.
Life itself, just to be conceived and be alive, is the ultimate miracle of all for each one of us.
So, whatever situation you may find yourself in or are currently in, remember to keep believing in who you are and how the end result will be like celebrating at Christmas. Because belief is the very spark that makes miracles happen at all.
Or as Kris Kringle himself said in the film, ‘To me the imagination is a place all by itself….It’s a wonderful place’.
I believe that he is right!
There you are driving to work and a certain song comes on the radio.
Or you see a TV show that mentions either a world event in the past or features a specific period in history like the 90’s or when the Berlin Wall fell.
In each occasion, no matter what you were currently doing beforehand, your mind was transported in a flash back in time to a specific moment as if you were there again. No years had passed. No-one had gotten older. You never went anywhere. You are there again. Just you in that space with the people and circumstances of that day in living colour plus the emotions, and smells, and weird little recalls that appeared in your mind all of a sudden. Your greatest memory was a fresh as if you never left.
That is the power of our cinematic mind. It has an almost time travelling ability. Where you were once eighteen and on a trip to the beach with your three best girlfriends or that Saturday in December on one of the coldest days known to humanity when you bought your first Harley bike, your mind can catapult itself right back into the very centre of that experience. You can see it, feel it, and almost touch it.
How many times has this happened to you?
When was the last one? Just a few days ago or last month?
It’s common. It’s normal. It’s the same for everyone. It’s also the key to your future.
Your mind has the same super sharp creative capacity to project itself into the future as it does into the past. It doesn’t know what time is. It simply acts ‘as if’ what it’s envisioning is real and existing. Just ask someone who is convinced they are about to lose their job or that their partner is cheating on them even if neither are actually true. Or indeed ask a patient who is told they won’t recover from a condition or an athlete that they will never win medals who believes they will.
As Shakespeare wisely wrote, ‘Nothing is good or bad, but thinking makes it so’.
If you can view a scene that you once occupied many years ago, the mind can also spring you forwards to another scene in your coming future in the same sharp detail. It doesn’t care. It goes where you take it. It forms a picture of what you direct it to. It’s just been easier for you to remember previous special moments in your life because you weren’t aware you could imagine another wonderful scene you could live in the future too.
It’s time to do this. Take your mental skills and turn them into future building like you did with memory gathering. Instead, now place yourself in another setting – one to come, one you wish to call your life, one you want your mind to believe is here right now this second, your daily world. Show it everything and add amazing feelings, sexy circumstances, feel good sounds like laughter, fab people, and tons of images of you livin la vida loca.
Then take that picture and hold it every minute of your days ahead. Repeat that vision over and over again. Never lose sight of it and work to move towards it. Hardwire it into your mind. Make it your life around you.
Because if you do, your favourite songs will be the new ones you will be dancing to in your not too distant future.
